Dear Crabby Abby
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Fire in the Hole!
Dear Crabby Abby -
I've had this "burning sensation" for the past 4 months and not sure how to put out the fire.  I use to sit on pavement for days at a time, knowing full well from hearing my mother comment to me as to how this is not a wise thing to do.  Unfortunately my job plays a key roll in sitting on pavement!  I need it as smooth as a baby's bum and it gets so  irritated that even my husband get's ticked off at times because that to me right now, is a "no way in " zone. I've tried everything from PH to herbal cures.  No LUCK!  
HELP Crabby Abby!  You're my only hope right now!
FireStarter 
 
DEAR FIRESTARTER
Being "the perfect " asshole myself, I'm not too familiar on the topic of hemorrhoids. Though I do agree that fudge packing is a "no no" for the hubby right now. Try looking in to suppositories, creams, infrared photocoagulation, carbon dioxide freezing or surgical resection. In the meantime, keep this to yourself... you don't want to be the "butt" of peoples jokes.

Wed Lock

Dear, Crabby Abby 
I am a single 31 year old woman and I enjoy being single. The problem is, some members in my family say I should find a man and get married! I have explained to them that I like being single but they just keep harping at me. It hurts my feelings, because they can't seem to accept that I am enjoying my life the way it is. I don't want to get married! Any advice on how to deal with them?
Single and Loving It
 
Dear Single...
Big or small fuck em all!!... go for it! You seem like you're waiting for the right dude to come along (great!). But don't raise your standards too high... there's no such thing as a "perfect" man". So if you're single all your life and happy, so be it!. You're a 31 year old woman with a mind of her own (an adult). If your family don't like it... fuck em!. Take a good look at them and count how many are single or divorced now. If all else fails... bring home a nice woman!.

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